SUCK · BLOW · KICKFLIP

The 2026 Roadster has 80 kN of cold-gas thrusters, a fan that can hold it upside down at a standstill, and absolutely no business being raced. Six of them. Three laps. One loop, one twisting Boring tunnel, one jump over Tesla's entire product line, and one Cyberpothole.

DELIVERY WINDOW (DIFFICULTY)

80 kNrear thrust · 4.2 g alone

3,770 kgffan suction at 0 mph

160 kgair @ 700 bar in COPVs

118 kg/sflow at full boost (Isp 69 s)

1.36 sof full rear burn per tank

12nozzles, all simulated

W A S D drive · SPACE 80 kN boost · SHIFT hop · R fan→compressor recharge
X kickflip anytime · Z backflip · In the air: A/D roll · W/S front/backflip · Q/E yaw · H full controls

CONTROLS & PHYSICS

W/↑ throttle

S/↓ brake (wing airbrake) / reverse

AD steer (steer-by-wire)

SPACE rear thrusters · 4 × 20 kN

SHIFT hop · 4 × 25 kN down-firing

QE lateral thrusters (yaw / strafe)

R hold: fan → compressor (refill, less suction)

F fan on/off (don't, on a ceiling)

X kickflip anywhere (hop + 360, steer A/D picks the side) · Z backflip

Empty tank → valves lock ~3 s while it recharges

L flight computer auto-level · I invert air pitch

C camera · T reset · P pause

Air: A/D roll (kickflip) — hold to keep spinning, release to stop

Air: W/S front / backflip (re-press after takeoff)

WHAT'S ACTUALLY SIMULATED

Every nozzle is a force at its real position. Kickflips happen because the left-side down-thrusters fire and r × F spins a 1.9 t rigid body — 0.15 s of thrust ≈ one full roll for ~11 kg of air.
Gas is finite: ṁ = F / vₑ with vₑ = 680 m/s. Full 80 kN boost drains 118 kg/s. The car gets lighter as you burn it. Below 60 bar the regulator can't hold pressure and thrust blows down.
The fan pulls 37 kN through sealed skirts — more than the car weighs — which is why you can drive on the tunnel ceiling at any speed. Recharging diverts it to a compressor: suction drops to 45% and you will fall off ceilings.
Power budget: 1.2 MW shared by motors, fan (90 kW) and compressor (600 kW). Recharging literally makes you slower.
Refill rate is the one cheat: ×3 "Tesla Time". Real isothermal compression to 700 bar costs ~0.6 MJ/kg. Landing tricks adds air too, because hype is highly compressible.

Press H to close.

PAUSED

Elon is on line 2. Press P to resume.